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February 15, 2012

An Overnight Comment....

I received a message overnight on Facebook in reference to the drama with Shelley Sherlock Holmes. I had no intention of writing anything else about this situation, but here I am. This, however, will be my last article about this. I think the solution is simple but it's not up to me.

I’m not posting the message itself. Why? Well, there was a bit of profanity – and I can make my point without drawing attention to her personally. I’m not angry with this person, because I fully understand why she sent me the message. She is a friend of Shelley’s and feels strongly that Shelley is telling the truth.

So, why am I posting this article at all?

This person sent this message then blocked me. Why would someone do that? It makes no sense to me. Why ask questions and not allow for a response?

Anyway, since I can’t message her directly, I decided to take a few moments to address her comments.

Dear (let’s just call her) Anonymous,

First of all let me say I never said anyone shouldn’t be “friends” with Shelley. I personally can’t be friends with someone I can’t trust but that’s my decision. But, I would like to remind you this bit of drama was not started by me or anyone outside Shelley’s Facebook group. I can completely understand why you would want to defend your friend. I defend my friends all the time. But, in order to do that properly, you should be willing to do what Shelley has not – post the information that proves, I and others did, what we were accused of. What was copied and pasted from Shelley’s Facebook page? She has refused to provide that information. Why? It seems very simple to me.

I provide proof of what I am saying all the time.

Yes, Shelley is a liar. In a comment she sent to this blog she said she didn’t remove me. In fact, she not only removed me from her group page but also her personal page. To block someone from your personal Facebook page you must do that yourself. She made false accusations against me and many others. Shelley said she created a “list of 20 evil researchers.” That wasn’t me or anyone else.

I wouldn’t call you a b*tch nor do I think you sound like one. I do, however, think you need to face reality and stop blaming others for the problems, Shelley, has created. We all make mistakes, but as adults, when we make mistakes, we apologize.

Shelley may be a good person, but so were the people she falsely accused, in front of more than 200 Facebook people on just her group page.

Neither you nor Shelley knows me, any better, than I know you. I’m glad Shelley gets into the field. But, considering she was willing to disparage people, by making false accusations, why should I or anyone else believe what she says about her field work? Also, you can say with no authority how much time anyone spends in the field unless you know them personally, especially in this day and age of wireless internet, air cards, tablets, notebooks, laptops, and cell phones. People log onto the internet from the woods. I have done it myself. So I would be careful how you pass judgment on those you think are simply spending all day, every day, at their computers and not getting into the woods.

I have no intention of bashing you. I see what you are doing, and I think you’re a good friend to Shelley, but your time would be better served, talking to Shelley about making things right with those she falsely accused. Sending me messages on Facebook will not solve this problem. I didn’t start this. But I do have the right to defend myself and anyone falsely accused.

I take these situations very seriously. After all we are talking about the reputations of people Shelley really doesn’t know either. You’re comments about “field time” proved that. Usually good manners dictate you get to know a person yourself, not request gossip about them in order to assess their motives or credibility. I challenge you to find one (1) article, on this blog, written about Shelley before this sorted situation occurred. You won’t find one.

As much as you would like to blame me or others we didn’t ban ourselves. We didn’t put our names on a “list of 20 evil researchers”. We didn’t ask people on her group page to go out and look for information on others within her group. Whether this list exists or not isn’t for you to say. Shelley made the accusations and plainly said she had created a list which she planned to email. I didn’t say that. I did make it known to everyone that she did say these things. That I won’t deny.

I respect that you hold Shelley in high regard. That’s what friendship is all about.

Shelley needs to apologize.She needs to admit she lied because she did (I have proven that) and If her comment about the list of “20 evil researchers” weren’t true, then she needs to admit that too. But, (a word of caution) within 24 hours of Shelley’s accusations people I know and trust have told me they were removed from other “groups” even though they had not posted in quite some time, if ever. So, were people removed from other groups because of either what Shelley said, or did she have a list she did send out? That’s for Shelley to say.

Shelley will carry this with her for a very long time if she does not make this situation right. That isn’t up to you or me. I respect you for wanting to handle this for, Shelley, but at the end of the day it’s up to her.

It’s natural human emotion for people to be angry when they are lied about. So, I would expect no less from those who are even more vocal than I am about this situation. I think any good psychologist would say; when people feel “wronged” the person who caused the hurt doesn’t get to decide how those who feel, “wronged,” should, would, or will react. What I’m the most curious about is why Shelley didn’t expect this? I would’ve.

I appreciate the time you took. I think you’re a good friend to Shelley. I’m not mad nor am I upset with you. I do think you would be a better friend to Shelley if you told her to be honest. To show how fair I can be I will even print her apology.

If or when, Shelley’s ready to apologize I will print it here.

But don’t expect attitudes toward her to change, until that apology happens.

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