Wedding, Field Researchers, Scientists and ~ Oh my. :)

Life has a strange way of making, "plans," for us.

Both my blog, and I, have been pretty quiet since June of this year.

I know many of you wondered why, Melissa, has been keeping her unique brand of humor and honesty to herself ?? 

I know, it's been painful for you all but; 

Wayne and I finally decided to get married!!! 

6 years is a long time to live with someone - but when you enjoy spending time with that person and you share many of the same interests - it goes by much quicker than you would think.

Much has been made about the fact that Wayne and I were still not married after 4 years so I can only imagine what those same people were saying after we reached 5 and then approached 6 years. 

But, let's face it. I am, Melissa Hovey, do you think I care what others say about me or how they think our life should be going? Nope, not a bit. But I have enjoyed hearing what the Facebook psychiatrists have had to say. Wayne and I appreciate a good dose of humor now and again. 

The dirty, despicable, gut wrenching truth that will turn this community upside down is: 

Wayne, and I, were having too much fun getting into the woods and doing what we enjoy most. Looking for the elusive animal known as Bigfoot. We've also been working a private piece of land which has yielded some cool game cam pics and audio.  

We both knew a, wedding, would take us out of the field for quite some time. Why? Because weddings (like field research) cost lots of money and take a lot of time to plan.    

But as of October 18th Wayne and I are now married and we couldn't be happier. Thank you to all who offered congratulations and well wishes. It was a wonderful day and night filled with family, friends, food and fireworks. 

Now that I have started paying more attention to the larger community, 

I see nothing has changed.

So I didn't miss much. This year I have had to back away from the community a number of times so I could take care of things more important in life and every time I have said, "maybe something interesting will happen?" 

Never has. 

I have been just as disappointed as the newbies who want to read something cool or new - or just something interesting. Backing away from the community and looking from the outside gives one a unique perspective into what is really going on and how the online Bigfoot Community looks to the average person.... I gotta tell ya - it's not a good thing. 

You all should try it, if you never have. 

The blowhards still blow, the pseudo-scientists still think they know more than the scientists and everyone, the paranormal crowd still pushes their wares and the newbies are still sitting back and wondering, "what the hell?" 

Why do I say that? Because for all the, "talk," there should be something of value. Why is there nothing of value? Because those, field researchers, who have information refuse to talk (for good reason) publicly. 

More and more of the field researchers with years of experience are backing away from this online Bigfoot community. 

Let me fill you in on something about, "Science." 

Science is about discovery. Science doesn't care how that discovery happens, they only care when it does. You could be standing on a boulder, on one foot, rubbing your belly and singing, "it's a small world," when you snatched the hair off a Bigfoot's head or you lost your balance and scratched the Bigfoot with your finger nails and obtained biological evidence. I am willing to bet if you came out of the field with this evidence of blood, hair or tissue - something rock solid - a "Scientist," wouldn't care about that boulder you were standing on initially, or whether your singing was in tune, or your work experience, educational background or how many internet radio shows you've dissed people on, blogs, or whatever, but they would care about what that hair, blood, or tissue really is. 

Imagine that. 

Sure, they will listen to your story but a good scientist wants that discovery of an unknown primate as much as you do. Science is all about discovery that is what scientists do. Listen to what they are asking of us, not what the pseudo-Facebook-scientists are telling you to do. Scientific discoveries don't happen over night either they take years and years and years and - you get it. 

It's not HOW it happens - it's whether it HAS happened. 

So, listen to what the scientific community is telling us, 

And lets just do what their asking. They don't want us to stop looking - just to refine our methods of evidence collection. Technology is catching up - and we should be prepared so that what we are gathering as, "evidence," can be tested and run through the rigors of the scientific process. I'm not a scientist - but I am tired of hearing the skeptics hide behind science. That's an easy win for any skeptic when it comes to putting down someone who actively researches this mystery. Why? Because nothing we've done has been proven and stamped as a, "scientific discovery." 

But, I digress. 

The other night I had a very interesting conversation with someone who has spent years and years around this community and has been a friend to most. I wasn't surprised by what this person said but it did set me back in my chair a bit when he/she said, 

"I just don't care about Bigfoot anymore." 

Honestly, I am hearing that more and more. I asked this person, "Why do you feel that way," and the response was deja vu, "I'm just tired of all the hostility." 

Yeah there is enough of that to go around in this community. 

What's sad though is;

The majority of the hostility, comes from the people who spend little to no time at all in the field, or they do get into the field, but don't discuss their field work. They would rather spend their days tearing down other field researchers and telling everyone how much more they know than everyone else. When in reality, they know nothing more than the people they rip apart over personal issues. It's really unbelievable. 

Especially when you factor in, just a couple years ago, these same people were telling everyone how there are no, "experts," in this field of research. It's really quite funny to listen to them go on and on about how much the field researchers don't know but, by god, you better listen to them.

Do as I say, not as I do, has become very popular.  

These angry individuals would have nothing to talk about if it weren't for the work being done by others and; no one would even know their names, if it weren't for the hard work of others. The irony is astounding when you really think about it. 

And people call me a Narcissist. I know, but at least they spelled it right.

Don't worry peeps, Wayne, had me tested and the results were negative. :)

All I know is this;

To those of you who get into the field - keep getting out there. Keep researching and keep working to try and solve this. Don't let the hostility get to you. Don't let the negative attitude of someone else ruin something you enjoy doing. If you want to discuss science - talk to a scientist. You will find one or two in this community with scientific credentials - online - and I promise you they don't have a group Facebook or fan page. 

Talk to others who are field researchers, who can offer you positive feed back and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. If you want to be trashed and put down - I am sure you can get that in your daily life - why are you getting online to be called horrible names and put down? Talking to other field researchers should be fun and if not educational - at least we should get something from the time we spend online talking and maybe something we might be able to use in the field or at least try. 

Facebook has not been good for this community - at all. Other than giving us access to one another - what has the positive side been? There is more hostility today than when the old BFF was running full speed. 

Okay, calm down - you knew eventually - someone would say it out loud. 

My concern is simply this: good field researchers will leave this field all together because of the childish nature of others who really couldn't give two shakes about the animal or the actual work being done. It's already happening, but if it were to become a tidal wave, then we are throwing witnesses to the wolves. How fair is that to them? And, yes, we do need witnesses. Anyone who says different doesn't understand the research at all. 

Something has to change. 

Maybe field researchers need to go back to closed website forums just so we can discuss ideas without being throttled - because someone else is having a bad day or life. I don't know what the answer is but something needs to change.

I know this will anger the truly self-entitled but I'm just gonna say it because it's true, 

If we are not physically in an area actively researching the area, or we weren't involved in the activity being discussed, we can't possibly know all there is to know about what's really going on. 

We can guess. But unless we are the researcher working that property - all we can truly go on is speculation based on what we're being told. No field researcher, worth their salt, is ever going to get online and tell the world everything about the activity their researching. Why? Because it's called "research." Field researchers get online to discuss and try to come up with ideas. We're not telling the world everything - because we are still researching - we don't have all the answers. We say it all the time, but it's more fun for the skeptics to ignore the fact that researchers happily admit we don't have all the answers.    

Now, am I saying it's bad to disagree with someone? 

No. 

Even the most experienced field researchers will tell you they disagree with most of what they read, hear or see. But - it's the way it's being done. 

We have to bring back, "constructive criticism," to this community. If you don't know what that is, I would encourage a browse of a dictionary. Look it up. You will see just how little we have of that within this community. 

Anyone with a keyboard and hours to waste can get online and call anyone filthy names. It doesn't take talent or even knowledge of the topic. It just takes inner hostility that needs to be released. Why we as a community would encourage these people is beyond me.

We should be encouraging those who want to add something to this field work. Not those with a bad attitude and are in dire need of therapy - the true narcissists. 

A new year is fast approaching. We can either make this a year where we move forward, or we can stay in the rut we're all in now. And unless someone can provide something of substance - then we (as a community) are in a rut. Argue that all you want. That is the cold hard truth and the sooner we deal with it and come up with a way to move forward the better off we will all be - or we can continue with the status quo which has gotten us nowhere and that rut will only get bigger. 

I know what I plan to do and it has nothing to do with encouraging bad behavior. 

Let's face it, haters are gonna hate, and as a wise person once told me, "it doesn't matter how many times you explain something, you will get the same question over and over and asked a different way every time because they think they will trip you up. It doesn't matter what you say, people will always believe, what they want." 

It's true. Oh my - is it true. :)