May 4, 2007

He Said.....She Said.....yakkity yak

By Teresa Hall

I ask myself this question.... Why?? I know the research is slow and nothing thrilling has happened in quite some time, but criminy...are we so bored that we must resort to making up untruths, jumping to conclusions or assuming the worst of people? I don't usually post on this blog, but felt compelled to address this particular issue.

In keeping with my researching the researchers... that's my topic for this blog. Just lately I've been accused, tried, and convicted in the court of personal opinion right out of nowhere and I'm flabbergasted where it came from or even how it all got started. No, I'm not going to name any names, I'd be guilty of that which I'm blogging on about if I started naming names and bashing people myself. The question begs to be answered, however, what motivates an otherwise "seemingly" well adjusted and certainly noted person in the bigfoot field to assume and allege the worst of someone they don't even know and then accuse that person falsely to yet another person? I know I'm clueless here, but that's what happened to me.

To make matters even more complicated Person A, the accuser, got their pantaloons in an even bigger knot because Person B that they believed was my partner in the assumed crime had the unmitigated gall to tell me what person A had said to them about me. I'm thinking... not only a gossip.. but Person A is perhaps a hypocrite as well. How is it any different what Person B did than what Person A did in gossiping to them about me in the first place? Is Person B any more guilty for passing the information on to me? At least Person B's motives were pure. They told me so I could at least try to straighten the mess out where I was apparently involved... nothing sinister about that. As far as I know the whole thing sounded like a scene right out of any elementary school USA and the accuser isn't a spring chicken by any stretch of the imagination. I haven't been involved in anything so utterly idiotic since the third grade when my best friend got her panties in a bunch because I spent recess one day playing Barbies with somebody else.

I made things even worse trying to get to the bottom of the gossip by asking another friend, we'll call that friend Person C, since they are friends with Person A if they knew how any of this might have gotten started. Person C said they were clueless but offered to put in a good word about my honest nature as a character reference to Person A on my behalf. Somewhere around there the whole stupidity spiraled out of control and Person A put me at or close to the top of their Public Enemy List for getting Person C involved. Again, I didn't do anything that Person A hadn't already done when they went to Person B accusing us both of perceived crimes. I'm a direct sort of person so I'd already sent a nice letter to Person A explaining I hadn't taken a whiz in their Post Toasties, but got no response so I was no closer to figuring out what the heck was going on. Now Person A is spreading the love and making even more wild assumptions about me to Person C and still accusing me of things I never did.

How does this crap happen? I'm still completely innocent of all charges (and would be completely oblivious if not for Person B) but my accuser/executioner has now become incensed with me even more. I'm still perplexed and confused about how I got involved in this whole thing to begin with. One of those "A funny thing happened to me today" kind of things only it's not really that funny.

What was my crime you ask? This is the funniest and most ridiculous thing about this pitiful Greek tragedy yet..... at least to me; Person A was allegedly told by persons yet unknown that I refused to join in a chat that Person A was engaged in BECAUSE Person A was there. Now.. I've never once been invited to chat with Person A, don't know Person A at all except by reputation, and have no clue where Person A chats. I have never been anywhere near a chat room that Person A has been engaged in. That being said it isn't a stretch to conclude I didn't refuse a chat request from anyone involved with Person A because I have no idea where Person A chats in the first place. A well placed "Doh" is probably warranted at the end of this paragraph.

Why do we gossip about others in the field? It does nothing to aid the research, and if our assumptions and accusations about each other are concocted completely in our own imaginations and utterly off base, one is then left to wonder if that's the methods we use, how accurate is our research? That is what we're all here for, right... "the research?" That's what somebody told me anyhow. Do these same people make wild assumptions and allegations in regards to their research as well? If you don't investigate what it is you hear whether online or out in the field you're left to assume about what you heard and we all know where assumptions lead.

If you're a researcher or enthusiast in this field and spend your time stewing and gossiping about something so trivial as chat room etiquette, do yourself (and me) a favor; back slowly away from the computer and do an inventory on your priorities before you do something that's going to make you look like the cheese slid off your cracker.

I never did find out the identity of those "persons unknown" who allegedly intimated I was a meanie, and wouldn't chat with Person A. I don't even care. As for what I think about all this?

In the words of Sherlock Holmes....."Elementary, (school) my dear." I don't have the time or inclination to devote to blithering nonsense.

That's it for me today. I'm off to more interesting endeavors...
and speaking of today, have a nice one!


  • At 6:35 PM, Blogger John said…

    My head is swimming a little from the A,B, and Cs. I hope this is resolved soon - it hurts people's feelings and is counterproductive. I hope my cheese stays on my cracker.

  • At 10:54 PM, Blogger Melissa said…

    It is quite counter productive but I don't think there's going to be any resolution. Sometimes people don't give us any choice in these matters so we just pick up and go on from there. At least, that's what I'm going to do.

    I hope you cheese stays on your cracker too, John!


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