Tying Up Loose Ends
Yesterday I received the news, Teresa Hall has left the Bigfoot Forums. I was told to go check out a specific thread on the JREF, where she posted the news. So, I did.
Do I think Teresa is really gone?
Nope. Does anyone really leave?
Am I happy to see her leave the community completely?
Nope. Odd isn't it? Maybe it's because I have a cold.. No, I don't think that's it.
I don't know how I feel about Teresa's departure. Maybe, I will figure out how I feel about it, by the time I finish writing this article. This blog often times is a "theraputic" outlet. I type my thoughts, which, at times, start out fuzzy, then become clear. So much about this "community" confuses me. Who should we trust? Who should we talk to? Who is hateful? Who is really extending a hand of friendship? How do you tell the difference?
Teresa posted on the JREF, she wanted me (along with 2 others) to "leave her alone."
How do you make such a statement,
When you are front and center in the trashing of others? Why should anyone cut you any slack, and "leave YOU alone"?
I must admit, when I read her plea to be "left alone," I had a very primal reaction.
Since 2008, Teresa and her merry band of "friends" (far more than 2) have done whatever they could to make my life, hell. I have had some of the nastiest things posted about me, on the Internet, by these people ~ posted as if this information was true.
Teresa went right along with the lies told about me. She said nothing. I wrote specific blogs stating
"If you don't like me, or this blog, or my website, stay away. Leave me alone, and I will leave you alone!"
Did that stop Teresa and her friends? No, they said I was "playing the victim" and looking for "sympathy".
Did they "leave me alone"? Heck no. They didn't even stop to catch their breath.
When YOU know the truth, and YOU do not speak it, YOU are just as guilty for allowing a lie to run rampant. YOU could have spoke the truth, YOU chose not to. When YOU know the truth, and YOU speak the lie yourself ~ YOU are just as guilty.
Teresa and her friends just couldn't back off me. I have had to deal with far more mis~information, written about me, by this group of people, since 2008, than Teresa has ever had to deal with. Some of it she could have stopped, and chose not to. In fact, nothing on this blog posted about Teresa is untrue.
Teresa states she has been dealing with criticism for 3 months. Wow, that is horrible!! Wow, and I thought the more than 2 years of lies being told about me, by you, and your friends, was bad.
I feel better now. Yeah, that's sarcasm.
Teresa wants me to "leave her alone?"
I have mixed feelings about Teresa's departure from this community. Why? I will be honest and say, I have no idea why she turned on me in such a vicious way.
For those of you who do not know, I was (I thought) friends with Teresa Hall. All that changed in 2008. It was almost as if she was looking to start a fight with me, on everything from the Administration of the Searchforbigfoot, to the Internet show we hosted together, "Let's Talk Bigfoot". I won't go into the details of those disagreements (unless Teresa wants to dispute my comments) but needless to say ~ it was stupid. Why was it stupid? I have co-hosted 2 shows since then, and while I have disagreed with my co-hosts, during discussions in reference to new guests and show ideas, we all remain friends to this day.
There was no disagreement, Teresa and I, could not have worked out. Teresa chose to turn it into an issue that would end our friendship.
When you call someone "friend" you should be able to disagree, and not let that disagreement interfere with that friendship.
I was warned, "If Teresa leaves the Searchforbigfoot, one by one, all her friends will fall in line, and you will be the target." Those people were right. My god, it was like watching domino's fall. I defended Teresa, against these comments, about her. I actually told these people, "No, she wouldn't do that. We are good friends and we have much in common. Why would she do that?"
I have thought about this since Teresa left the Searchforbigfoot in 2008. Why?
When anyone loses a friend, they want to know, why? Well, unless they are a robot, they would like to know the answer to that question. Even as I sit here today writing this article, I don't think she was honest about her reasons for being so angry with me. If she was honest ~ Wow!
The Teresa I knew, was funny. She had a sense of humor. Teresa, and I, would laugh on the phone for hours. Her and I shared so much in common. I felt like she would be a friend I would have for life. Well, we all know how that panned out.
Some people have said,
This blog should be about Bigfoot, and not the drama surrounding the people. I don't necessarily disagree with those people. But, in my emotional journey with Teresa, I discovered something.
It's easier getting into the woods to find a 9+ foot, upright, bipedal primate, than it is to get to know some of the people involved in this, make friends and keep them.
It's the lack of trust. I never would have thought, Teresa, would have turned on me the way she did.
That my friends ~ is a warning, a warning everyone should be aware of. When I became friends with Teresa, I was under the impression, if I conducted my research in a way that was anchored in sanity, I would have no problems with the people in this research.
I was wrong,
Instead, once my friendship with Teresa fell apart, I had everything about my life questioned, from my health to my personal relationships, on Internet message boards ran by her friends. Teresa knew and still knows the truth of these situations, yet she has chosen to remain silent. On some of those issues she chose to speak, and when she did, she towed the line of the lie.
Why shouldn't I be upset about that? Anyone with an ounce of feeling would. I used to trust, but now I am very leery. Do you blame me? I don't blame others for feeling the way I do. Once bitten and all.
I don't hate Teresa, or anyone. I am however disappointed. I am disappointed in myself for not listening to people who told me, exactly, how this friendship would end. Yeah, I chose to believe Teresa and had faith in our friendship. Does that make me stupid? No, just someone who once believed, you should treat people the way you want to be treated. At least that is what I was taught by my Dad.
What makes me angry is this,
You should be able to rely on honesty from those who know it. Especially when it's the same people who lecture about truth, and honesty, and call themselves your "friend".
Teresa fell flat on her face, when it came to the "truth." Could she have stopped the lies? Probably not. But, she also never spoke out against it either ~ instead she even opened up the show (Let's Talk Bigfoot) to allow one of these lies to spread, even further.
Now, Teresa wants to be "left alone".
If you play with the emotions of others, Teresa, you don't have the expectation of being "left alone."
You go on and do whatever it is you need to do, Teresa. But, if you return (as I think you will) and allow these lies to continue, I won't "leave you alone". I will extend to you the same "courtesy" you extended to me. You allowed not just myself to be hurt by your need to be "popular", but you allowed my friends, and my family to be hurt (who found some of the hurtful things you said, and allowed on "Let's Talk Bigfoot.")
You say you are "not a force to be reckoned with," as the justification to be "left alone". Funny, I never thought I was either, and it never stopped you. Did I ever tell you I should be treated any special way? Hell no. I did, however, expect that as my one time friend, you would not allow lies, you knew were lies, to be told.
I would never allow lies to be spread about you, Teresa,
Regardless of how badly you have treated me. Still, to this day, I would defend you against a lie. I'm sorry you do not feel it necessary to return the same in kind.
This blog, is my outlet to express what I see right, or wrong, within this field of research and the larger community. I chose to allow my situation to be an example of what will happen to anyone who enters this "Bigfoot Internet community," and they don't keep their guard up.
Heck, I have had people in this community HATE me, because of the lies told. Once they actually took the time to talk to me, and get my side of the story, they are now friends. Yes, I should be upset about that. Wouldn't you be upset if people hated you, and you didn't know why? Then you find out their opinion is based on lies told by former friends?
Am I happy Teresa says she is leaving this community? No. Why, you ask? Because no one should have to feel the hurt, I and others, have had to endure. Some would call it karmic justice. I don't. I see it as something that could have been avoided, and a complete shame. Would it make Teresa "popular" to have told the truth?
But, should we care about our "popularity" when it comes to speaking the truth? Should "popularity" be the determining factor, in whether we decide the truth is important?
Everyone needs to answer that question for themselves.
As for "leaving you alone, Teresa"
But, you should not expect better treatment, from people, you have treated with complete and total disrespect. I am not celebrating your departure, as you celebrated the horrific things said about me. I will still continue to not allow comments about you that are not true, and I will always ask for proof of things you are accused of.
I wish you all the best, and good luck in the future.
Someday I might even forgive you. However, I will never forget what you did, and did not do.
Which is a shame, because I know at heart, you are a good person, who got caught up in friendships you wanted more. But, I refuse to allow you to blame me, for the drama you find yourself caught up in now. You made the decision, it was a choice you made. You could have picked another path - and did not.
You made that decision, not me. Even now, as I end this article, I am still not sure how I feel about your departure, Teresa. But, I wish you the best.
Which is far more, than you wished me.